Sunday, July 25, 2010
Tennessee Williams
There is a time for departure even when there's no certain place to go.
Leaving may not be bad thing for me, i think it's better for you too. I know you mentioned time and time again, i'm important, i understand that. But i don't feel a need for me to be here. I dont want to make it a daily chore for you to talk to me or trying to make me feel better. I know I made you feel down though i always hope i didn't but sorry. Sorry for making you pissed/sad over and over again, sorry for not making feel any better when you're down. Sorry. For not doing what i should. Sorry. For doing what i shouldn't. Hurt, pain, misery are the few main things i can bring to your life. I hope you understand i don't mean it. I promise it won't happen again, i'll try my best. That's why i am trying to make a decision, whether is it time. Though there is no certain place. I may be lost for awhile but it's okay. It's okay as long you'd be better. I don't want you to feel obliged, like what you said, " i don't want to do things cause i need to, i want to do things cause i want to.". Sometimes I am really paranoid, but it really helps me alot, to think better, to prepare for the worst and most importantly make you feel better. Leaving gives you freedom, less obligations, less pressure. and maybe one more dose of happiness, i hope. Sorry i had to lie, lie that i will be okay. But i wish i will be okay too. I'd be fine. You should be too. Life is always full of ups and downs, i know you have a lot of problems to face yourself, i really shouldnt add on to it. Really, I'm sorry. But thank you, for everything you done. And sorry, like what i said, for doing what i shouldn't and not doing what i should. I hope you will live on stronger, happier. Maybe someone can do it better than i can. I'm sure you can find one somewhere.
I really don't wish to stop right here. It's like a internal conflict in me. I will try, to solve it asap. but for now, i hope you really understand that i just want you to be happier. There's no need to be with me. So yeah, live strong and happy. Promise?
:'(
Washington Irving
Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.
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